All the professional success in the world won't take away the emptiness in your heart if your most foundational relationship - that with your spouse - is not fun joyful friendship and deep fulfilling understanding, full of lightness of being. If you haven't yet experienced that emptiness, it is because you have shut yourself up emotionally no longer willing to be hurt at not having been loved with tenderness and reverence. That emptiness in the heart is nature's way of ensuring evolution of our species to the next level of what it means to be a human being. If your response to that emptiness is an emotional shutdown for the sake of your kids, separation or divorce, you have taken away a beautiful opportunity of deeply fulfilling personal transformation. Your relationship with your spouse is really a mirror of who you really are. Had you married another one or choose to marry another one, your experience will follow you like a shadow because what you get in your relationship has got nothing to do with what the other person is doing, thinking, believing, saying. It has all got to do with who you are. Take this approach and you open yourself to the real purpose of being alive by becoming deeply aware of this magical cycle of life where you are really the creator of your life and the creator of all of humanity. But, this power to create has to be earned. You have to gym daily (emotionally, mentally, physically, intellectually, spiritually), moment by moment, with full awareness. And, ofcourse, it hurts like mad in the beginning only to give way to the joy of deep inner centering, when you have gone beyond yourself. You always have the choice not to gym, to take the easy path of watching what is happening instead of taking responsibility of creating what you want in your world. The more the catapult is pulled inside, longer the distance the stone will fly out. More success you want, deeper you have to go inside. When you are playing the game of reaching out to your highest self, instead of looking around and observing that others are not living their highest selves; you access the power to have, do and be all that you want and much more. Food for thought this Sunday morning :-) Love, Jyoti.
So, it was the dinner time again. Here's the list of my problems that I was in search of a solution:
1. Long hours at meal-times by the kids was driving me up the wall at the time wasted in which we could all be doing so much more.
2. How to transform my rising irritation during meal-times to loving tenderness?
3. A book that I had read nearly 20 years ago - The Magic of Thinking Big by David Schwartz - is the pre-read to the upcoming leadership session for the members of Mums At Work™ Centre for Entrepreneurial Excellence. How do I create indelible transformation for the members from the book without re-reading it, which would be at the cost of reading another book?
4. How do I support my 10 year and 7 year olds' intellectual growth on a daily basis?
5. How do I make available the world's vast exciting knowledge to my children now, rather than hope they will access it when they grow up?
I stepped back from the situation and had 1 solution to the 5 problems. I told the kids that as soon as Mama is done with her meal, she is going to get a book of her choice and read from there till they finished their meals :-) After the initial incredulous resistance, they settled down to listen to the 5 pages from The Magic of Thinking Big. Sambar with tons of vegetables also got over. This was my most exciting meal-time ever. During the bed-time power hug, I asked my older one what was her feeling after listening to the 5 pages. She said initially bored but soon after she got interested. In response to what is the new thing she learnt, she said that success means achievement; and that she will have more belief in herself. My younger one said, he felt powerful and that he now will finish his maths faster because he believes he can. Mighty wins for this mum at work :-) Love, Jyoti.
In all my coaching experience, the only thing that I have ever seen cause transformation in the environment, in other people is reaching out to the love within for oneself, relating to oneself as extra-ordinary to start with, choosing to be a creator of one's life instead of a victim of other people & circumstances, with huge belief in oneself, creating financial independence through a profession that is an expression of one's creativity, passion and purpose. No number of SC judgements will ever transform the world. No amount of FB likes will ever make any difference. What would transform what it means to be a woman is to learn, grow, evolve into one's highest self. There's enough scientific proof that the world is only a reflection of who we are. My environment transforms, people around me transform when I walk that rocky path of personal transformation. There's deep joy, fulfilment, freedom in that journey. May that journey be yours. Love, Jyoti.
What's love got to do with it, Tina Turner said. I say everything :-) Starting your own business is like having another baby, with all the toddler tantrums, teen trauma, mid-life crisis and finally finding wisdom & serenity when your business becomes an entity independent of you, giving you passive income. Just as growing older is no guarantee of wisdom & serenity, age of your business is no guarantee that time and financial freedom will be found. You find that by following fundamental principles, as always. If you are an entrepreneur or aspiring to be one, make it your most important job to learn & understand those fundamental principles of entrepreneurship and apply them. Just as you would learn, understand and apply the fundamental principles of life to do any justice to your job as a parent. Love, Jyoti.
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