After working for 20 years to build a career; one day in August 2010, I gave it all up with no idea of what I was going to do next. It was a heart-wrenching decision. I think it broke my father's heart more than it did mine. Aditya (my husband) couldn't fathom what was going on. I loved the mad corporate rat race but working for 8 hours wasn't enough for me to sustain the growth I had been used to over the years. I was proud to be Vice-President with Citigroup, Director with American Express, managing teams and customers across the globe. But, I was in the US on Anya's 2nd birthday. It was a 5-year mid-life crisis during which I spoke to a lot more women than I had spoken to in all my life earlier, read Mckinsey's detailed research on women professionals in Europe and I realized every woman around the world was going through the same grind. A corporate career simply didn't allow you to be with your kids. At home, other break-downs were happening. Anya had stopped relating to me because I was only there to put her to bed - nothing broke me more than this. Aditya and my relationship was severely stressed because we had no time together. Between a global career and kids at home, I had no time for him or me. One day, I had the courage to finally hang up my corporate boots; without knowing what the future held for me, for divorce conversations had been pretty regular. For the next six months, I dedicated myself fully to being with my children. I loved going to drop and pick them up from school. I used to wonder at the boredom writ large on the faces of other moms coming to pick up their kids because for me, it was a precious gift. Then, Anya, all of 3 years, told me that when she has a baby, she is going to quit her job too to be at home. After six months of being at home, life had become worse - my fights with Aditya escalated because now I would blame him for my decision to quit my job, wanted his continual gratitude for the sacrifice I had made in giving up my lucrative career, my brains were getting pickled with dis-use, found myself more often than not irritated with the kids, going every day to pick them up from school became a tedium. In the midst of it all, I began another very special journey called Mums At Work. I wanted a world where I could be fulfilled not only as a mother, but also as a professional and an individual. I knew deep down, if I could make this available to other women, I would get it for myself. My simple solution to the conundrum faced by women professionals across the world is to become an entrepreneur. I am there when my children have a class performance, are sick, have their piano / football classes, want to invite their friends home. I am passionate about the work I do because in this entire journey, I figured my purpose of life and married that to a missing need in the world to create my business. I am up at 4:00 am, full of energy & enthusiasm till I hit the bed at 10:30 pm, my passion for what I do keeping me alive and joyful. Sure, I still have my breakdowns - I still get irritated with the kids and have fights with Aditya - but who I am has transformed. I have been up since 2:00 am today because both my kids are sick. I am no longer frenzied; but experience deep stillness and love for myself & for the whole world. Love, Jyoti.
2 Comments
shilpi
15/9/2015 05:46:19 pm
Super ...i relate with you as the same mid life and also following your passions...veri imp at times
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