 You can make a big difference in your children's future by asking them to take out the trash. And do the laundry, wash the dishes, make the beds, put away the toys. Research by Marty Rossmann, Emeritus Associate Professor of Family Education at University of Minnesota, shows that involving children in household tasks at an early age can have a positive impact later in life. By involving children in tasks, parents teach their children a sense of responsibility, competence, self-reliance, and self-worth that stays with them throughout their lives. Research over the years makes a strong case for chores. A University of Minnesota analysis of data collected over a 20-year period found that the best predictor of success in young adulthood, on measures related to education completion, career path, and personal relationships, was whether they had begun doing chores at an early age — as young as 3 or 4. A long-running Harvard University study of inner-city males found that willingness and capacity to work in childhood — indicated by holding a part-time job, taking on household chores, participating in school clubs or sports — was a better predictor of mental health in adulthood than was social class, family problems, and other factors. Another study in The American Journal of Psychiatry showed that those who had been industrious as youngsters turned out to be the most well-adjusted adults, to have the most successful work lives and the most satisfying personal relationships. What does this mean for us? Here are my take-aways: 1. If we need to inspire our kids to do house-hold chores to support them to grow into happy well-adjusted adults, we need to love doing the house-hold chores ourselves. If we don't love and enjoy doing the chores, there is no way our kids will joyfully accept the responsibility of the chores. Whether we like it or not, our kids mirror our beliefs. You don't like what your child is doing, you just need to dig deep inside to pull out a limiting belief that the child is simply playing out. 2. We need to make running of the home efficient so as to reduce the over-reliance on home-support staff (I prefer using this phrase than maids) so that there are chores left for the family to do. Imagine your family coming together and joyfully making the beds, taking the trash out, laying the table, cooking meals together. This means we need to simplify our lives and stop being busy being busy, rushing from moment to moment. We need to learn the science of stillness, performance, effectiveness & time-management and implement this knowledge just as much at home as at office; otherwise how will our children learn these essential life-skills. 3. To shift the family's mindset towards chores as 'not my job' to 'its my responsibility' requires us to deepen our leadership ability. Therefore, we need to become leaders not only to create success at work but also to do our fundamental job as a parent. The lackadaisical attitude that we Indians have towards taking responsibility of our own country is to a large extent because we have pampered childhoods and are protected from doing the chores when we are growing up. We can use parenting as an opportunity to force ourselves towards our highest selves and have it all - deeply fulfilling successful career, joyful relationships, happy responsible kids and lots of nourishing me-time. You see, if you take on building your leadership depth to inspire your family to joyfully share household chores; you will suddenly have all the time in the world to build a deeply fulfilling successful career. Without leadership depth, you cannot have it all. Know it is not because you are a woman but because you are choosing not to be a leader. Be a leader and transform what it means to be a woman. Inside of this transformation, humanity itself will transform with an abundance of love, peace and joy all around. Love, Jyoti.
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 As per research by Harvard, daughters of working mothers earn higher salaries and are more likely to become bosses at workplace. Sons of working mothers contribute more to household chores and spend more hours caring for their family members.
The reason I bring up research like this for discussion is not to belittle home-makers and glorify working mothers. I bring this up to share that it is our responsibility to ourselves, to our children, to our family and ultimately to the human race itself to keep holding on to that job. And, if we decide to quit our corporate career, it should only be to start a business of our own. It is when we stand up to constraints and still make things work, that something shifts inside of us, we become stronger than before and then get the privilege to pass on that strength to our children. It is the destiny of each human being to live in the expression of her highest self, to live in the experience of her own greatness through work that inspires her and supports her transformation. To live this destiny; all that is needed is making the Choice, intense burning Commitment and the will to Create. If you are a working woman and struggle with keeping the balance, what is needed is to become gentler and not harder; train yourself on the magical science of performance and productivity to create success effortlessly at work and at home. If you are a home-maker, remember at one time you did not know how to cook and you are an expert today. So, you have it in you to learn new skills and be the best in the world in any domain that you choose. By the way, as per research, humans are most productive and make their biggest contribution after they are forty. I guess by that time we are done with the melodrama of life. So, age is really no bar to live your highest self. Transform your passion into a profitable business and create jobs for others too. Though whatever you do, don't become a mompreneur. I see so much mediocrity in the name of mum-run businesses that I squirm even in my sleep. Become an entrepreneur, learn the science and fundamentals of entrepreneurship, become the world's best in your craft and deepen your leadership ability to effortlessly build your business to a point where it runs on its own. You know, it takes less effort to run a professionally managed, large, profitable business than a small struggling business. So, accelerate your learning and sharpen your execution ability to implement all that you learn, so that you can build a legacy to make that huge difference to the world through your work. When you do that, your children learn to realize their greatest dreams in deepest communion with their highest self, just as you did. Because, kids learn not from what we say or the schools or after-school programs we sent them to. Kids learn only from how we live our life, the choice that we make - that of mediocrity or that of mastery. Life is not just about one thing, it is about having it all - deeply fulfilling, successful career / business; joyful relationships; happy, responsible kids and lots of nourishing me-time. It takes a leader to be this kind of a human being. Make the choice to learn how to and be one. If you are an entrepreneur or are aspiring to become one; read, learn and implement from The $100 Startup by Chris Guillebeau and The Lean Startup by Eric Ries. If you are a corporate professional; read, learn and implement from Organize Your Mind, Organize Your Life: Train Your Brain to Get More Done in Less Time by Margaret Moore and Paul Hammerness. Wishing each one of you deep awareness of the light inside of you and the courage to let it shine. Love, Jyoti. PS: Referenced Article: http://hbswk.hbs.edu/item/kids-benefit-from-having-a-working-mom |
Jyoti GulatiCEO Coach & Founder, Archives
April 2017
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